Ok so I'm overweight. At least when I see myself in the mirror and I look at my pants size, I'm overweight. Being an American, there are definitely a LOT more people who are heavier than me. Like, seriously heavier than me. But I still think my 158ish pounds of self is too much.
I used to be heavier, when I was a freshman in high school. I guess I kind of didn't realize puberty was over and I didn't have to eat like a pig anymore, which is probably why I was 192 pounds at my heaviest. Eek. But Weight Watchers is lovely and helped me lose thirty pounds, but then my motivation went away.
My goal was to get in the 140 range by the beginning of fall, which will be my first year of college. I got a job in which I needed to bike everywhere for the summer, so I thought, hey I'll lose that weight in no time. Nope. Uh uh. I've gained weight because I'm always hungry from having to bike and not just sitting around the house like I've seemed to do every summer during high school.
I'm 5' 7", so a healthy weight zone would be around 136 according to my doctor's charts, but I always think, "what if that's not low enough?" It doesn't help that I see pretty Korean girls on the internet every day who have to weigh under 50 kg. It's their rule they live by. That's like 100 pounds. While I always tell myself that they are shorter than me, they have different genetics, and all that stuff, I still wonder why can't I do it? I know I'm just some European mutt, but couldn't I be less than 120 pounds even? My mom said she was when she got married, and she was 21 years old. She was they same height as I was too.
Ugh. It's stupid American food and stupid internet and the damn-it-to-hell PEANUT BUTTER in the cabinet that I always blame my muffin top on. But maybe I should start blaming myself. Let's lose 8 pounds in 6 weeks, Madison. Deal?
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